a pic i like.

I just found this pic on Facebook of some friends at I at Britt's bachelorette party. Brought back good memories. This was taken in late March. I love these girls.

Grey day.

It was grey all day today. It hasn't rained, but I've been looking outside on the hour to see if the clouds have given up yet. That's Florida in the summer for ya. I had a great tan in May, but come June, the tan has faded and the clouds have taken over the sky.

I made a reservation for our U-Haul today, which I am too excited about. I am so happy to think of us moving in say, three trips, rather than 10 or so in this July heat. I am scheduled to pick the trailer up at 8am, but I might be there at 7:45 so we can get to haulin' before the summer sun is in full force. As of today we have done nothing in preparation. Really. We don't even have boxes. Have I lost my mind? Oh- yes, I have... to NCLEX prep. Top priorities are hard to determine right now.... but NCLEX prep has been taking the top spot in most situations.

Hopefully we will be moved in by Sunday! I know that is ambitious, but I'm impatient.

Not much to report today, but I do think I just heard the first rain drop! Poor clouds must have gotten exhausted holding in all that rain...

Stormy day.

Studying and waiting for the rain...

Happy Birthday, Mom!

My mom, the most adventurous woman I know, turned 56 today! I know she wouldn't care that I tell her age because she isn't like that. She is proud of herself and her age, and sometimes even lets her grays show. She is a wonderful woman who has gone through a lot, put up with a lot, and provides a LOT. I love you so much, Mom. I wouldn't choose any other mom over you.

Some love for mom

The day my mom became a mom... with me!

Mom in Algeria.

Mom and her twin sister, Terri. Happy Birthday to you too, Terri!

Mom, Aoi, and I in Japan. Aoi was one of her English students.

Mom and I this past Christmas in Kentucky.

Way too short.

Today was a rough day. I must have had a premonition while writing yesterday's post, because today I found out two sweet souls would no longer be in my life.

First, and this may sound trivial, our pet bunny, Wheels, died all of a sudden and before our eyes. I have never watched a pet that I really loved die before. Our little two pound bunny, Wheels, who was only 2 and a half months old, was hopping around the apartment today like any other day, when all of a sudden he just stopped being able to use one of his front paws. After a few minutes, neither front paw was working. After about ten more minutes, he was mostly flaccid and unresponsive to touch. It was so sad. I had just gotten home from my follow-up doctor's appointment to see him darting around like normal. Within thirty minutes, he was dead. I bawled. If you know me, you may find this surprising, as I often don't understand people's intense connection with their animals- especially animals like cats, or rabbits. Well, now I understand, and I sympathize. We tried to get Wheely Boy to the emergency vet, but he died in Dan's lap on the way there. We had started out the short trip with me holding him, but I was crying too much, so Dan took over and I did the driving. I needed something else to focus on. We are going to bury him tonight in a field where he probably would have had fun hopping and sniffing and playing. :*(

Rest in peace, sweet Wheels. I hope you hop up to me when I go wherever I'm going.

When we got home from trying to take Wheels to the vet, I logged on to Facebook and discovered that one of my friends was tragically killed in a Man vs. Car accident. He was one of the sweetest, kindest, funniest souls I have met while living here in Orlando. We met in 2006 doing product promotions, and he would always make my friend Jessica and I laugh when we were getting tired or ignored by customers. He would buy us food and let us sit in the air-conditioned booth with him to get out of the sun when it was hot outside. I immediately went to his Facebook page upon learning this news, and with tears streaming down my face, I wrote him a little message. I know it's silly, but it's a closure thing, I guess. I scrolled down to see tens and tens of messages from friends and loved ones who felt the same way about him that I did. He was kind and pure and an all-around good person. I know he is in a good place, wherever that may be, and I hope that the individual that hit him is able to process the accident and find peace.

Whatever you like.

Something I love: unassuming white chicks covering rap songs. This is my favorite. It puts a whole new spin on the song (not that I don't appreciate the original). Listen & smile.

Nostalgia.

I am feeling rather nostalgic on this grey Sunday. Maybe it's because I feel like time is picking up pace and I am keeping up with it, rather than it keeping up with me, or maybe it's because I have had the privilege of rekindling old friendships lately. Probably both.

I am a strong believer in "keeping in touch" with people who were once at all important to me- if they comply, of course. I don't understand how some people can just move along without looking back, leaving friends or even family members discarded by the wayside. I don't mean to say that these people don't care about their lost friends or family, but it seems they have decided they are just as well without them. I am not like that. My friends and family, old and new, are the very fibers of my self. Even people who I am no longer in contact with have had some effect on me, and I am not too prideful to admit that or acknowledge it. I appreciate people who have come, gone, and come back into my life. I have memories of hundreds of people- how can I ignore their existence?

One theory I have about this is that some people intentionally reinvent themselves as they grow, and perhaps these people feel they have surpassed the people who were a mere influence to a crude prototype of themselves. It becomes a hierarchical cycle for these people- to gain people who will boost their image, then to lose them when they reach their next stage of product development. I think it's sad.

In my opinion, the people who I have met and formed relationships with were all co-inventors of the person that I am today, and I appreciate all of their input. I don't think I am better than people who were a part of a more immature stage of my life, and I don't think that my model has surpassed theirs, per se. We grow and change at different rates, but we are all undergoing the same process in the same factory. We have free will to move into higher levels of development, but that doesn't mean that the nuts-and-bolts types who are happy as such aren't growing in other ways.

I am aware that this is probably the most abstract bit I have posted to date, but it was on my mind. Here are some old pictures to lighten the mood. :)

Cousins getting ready for a wedding. (1989)

Dan and I (1989)

Skip forward! Junior year homecoming. (2002)

Soccer was my life. (2003)

My senior portrait. (Taken in 2003)

Oh, and thank you to everyone in my life, old and new.

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go in the same box.

-Italian Proverb

Fluids.

A word from the wise: Do NOT drink a 24oz energy drink 2 hours before a physical. Yesterday, one of my friends told me how she loves Rockstar Recovery, and I knew that today I was going to need some good fluids, with caffeine preferably, to act as a diuretic so that I could pee in a cup on command. Well, I took her advice and drank it, then had some time in the waiting room and drank a SmartWater (my favorite). BAD IDEA. Now the doctor thinks I'm hypertensive. Actually, I think I had a little of what we call "FVO" or fluid volume overload- causing me to have especially high blood pressure. Add 56oz of fluid consumed within 2 hours to a huge dose of caffeine (a vasoconstrictor) and top that with "doctor's office anxiety", and you will appear to have hypertension and anxiety.

The face I wanted to make during my entire physical... plus I was "holding it".

I hate going to the doctor's office (hospital is another story, I guess...) and I didn't want to get stage fright when it came time to aim into the cup, so I WAY overdid it. Up until the point where it was time to take my BP (which was later in the exam because the cuff in the room was too big), I was getting lots of great, enthusiastic "Okay, great!"s from the ole doc. I have a follow-up on Monday, and she requested I avoid the energy drinks. Now I am anxious that they are going to think I have some sort of circulatory problem. Here I go being Nervous Nelly again... uggh... At least I have this awesome weather to relax with! Love it...

This rain sounds especially beautiful... there I am- in the RED!